Afterwards
Wake
What is a wake?
A wake has come to refer to the social gathering around a funeral. The term comes from the tradition of holding a vigil with the body before a funeral. It now also tends to mean the gathering immediately after the funeral.
The wake might be at someone’s home, in a pub or other venue. It’s an opportunity to remember through conversation and laughter, an informal and more relaxed part of the process following the more structured funeral ritual.
Ashes
What to do with the ashes?
You can keep ashes with you in a suitable vessel, perhaps to be buried, or to be mixed with someone else in the future.
The desire to do something with the ashes can also encourage another, often smaller, gathering following the funeral. It can be a symbolic act of letting someone go or returning them to a place they loved.
It might be the right thing to have your person’s ashes put into a firework rocket that can be sent up during a special gathering, or have them pressed into a vinyl record, or turned into a diamond.
Memorials
What is a memorial service?
For somebody with a big life, there might be a greater number of people who wish to pay their respects than you can accommodate at the funeral. In such cases the funeral might be followed by a larger event, maybe even some months later, where memories can be shared and legacy can be recognised. This might be a professional or institutional arrangement, or you want to take it on yourself.
What about permanent memorial options?
A focal point could help you remember your person long into the future.
This could be a permanent memorial to visit such as a gravestone, plaque at the crematorium, or a bench in a particular place.
Alternatively you could choose a special date – your person’s birthday for example – for an annual memorial walk or another activity that lots of people can participate in.
Bereavement support
The funeral is often only the start of a bereavement process. We want the best for you going forward and these are some of the places you can contact for ongoing support.
Ongoing bereavement support is available.