Practical aspects
Cremation or burial? Which should I choose?
The most common options for processing our bodies when we die are cremation or burial – though other traditional or innovative options exist.
Burial can happen in any cemetery, natural burial ground, or on your own land. It allows you to have a physical place to visit your person, with the possibility of arranging adjacent plots for others, and maybe even a permanent memorial. It will be more expensive than cremation since you are leasing the land itself.
Cremation is a popular and flexible option. It can happen at your local crematorium, where you can have your funeral ceremony, or you might opt for a direct cremation and still choose to have a ceremony later with the ashes.
What is a direct cremation?
You will see nationwide providers advertise options for low-cost direct cremations. These involve processing the body with little or no ceremony in a potentially remote facility.
This could be the right option for you if it fits in with your plans for a ceremonial gathering. Direct cremation is sometimes presented as an alternative to, or a way to avoid, a funeral. Nobody expects to enjoy funerals, but they can be a source of comfort and support as we begin to heal.
Meetings
What should I expect from a family meeting with a funeral director?
A meeting for the family members and friends who are arranging the funeral will usually happen at a funeral director’s office or premises.
One key person will act as the applicant for the funeral. This is the person who is named in the contract with the funeral director and the decisions for the funeral will filter through them.
Your funeral director will want to know where the funeral will be held, how many people might attend, your preferred choice of coffin and funeral vehicles. A conversation can now begin about ceremonial details such as music and flowers.
The funeral director will be able to put you in touch with somebody to present the funeral service: a religious or faith leader, a secular, non-religious or humanist celebrant.
You might want to bring some clothes or a blanket for your person, or you might consider writing them a final card or letter.
Paperwork
What paperwork does a funeral need?
There is a certain amount of legal paperwork to be done in respect of the funeral proceedings.
Contact us now if you’d like us to take care of this for you.
Some deaths are referred to the coroner, otherwise a medical examiner will review the clinical notes to agree the cause of death with you. The medical examiner works with doctors to complete a medical certificate of cause of death (MCCD). Once the completed MCCD has been sent to the registry office, you will be able to make your appointment to register the death, and collect the death certificates you might need to close down bank accounts and similar.
Your funeral arranger will have the additional necessary forms when you meet and can help you complete them. The forms differ depending on whether the person is to be buried or cremated.
Caring for the body
How can I be sure a funeral director will treat the body with dignity?
“Treating the body with respect” means different things to different people. It might be a priority for you to know that your person’s body is being kept in a place that is close to you, or that the care they receive could be described as “minimally invasive”. You may actively want the person to be embalmed or prepared to be seen at a gathering or in private.
Your funeral director might have facilities on the premises or nearby to care for people who have died. Some funeral directors, especially the big brands, keep the people who have died in a hub or industrial estate arrangement.
If it matters to you where your person is or your preference is for natural, minimally invasive methods, be sure to ask questions to reassure you that the work of your chosen funeral director aligns with your values and wishes.
Questions to ask a funeral director about body-care
- Where will the body of my person be kept until the funeral?
- Will the body be embalmed?
- Do you use refrigeration?
- What will you do to prepare the bodies of the people in your care?
- What body-care philosophies do you employ?
Does a body need to be embalmed?
If a body isn’t properly refrigerated then a funeral director might think that the best way to ‘preserve’ the body is through embalming. Embalming is an intrusive practice that involves extreme changes to the body. Ask what procedures will be done and why. Think about what you would want to happen to you.
Venue
Where can I hold a funeral?
Holding a funeral usually means gathering people in the presence of the body of the person who has died. To do this you will need an appropriate space.
For practical reasons funerals are often held in spaces attached to crematoria or cemeteries. These are often referred to as “chapels” but are non-denominational in nature, and adaptable to your needs.
You might want the funeral to happen in a specific religious building. Alternatively, you might prefer a neutral and informal venue, or somewhere with personal significance such as a pub or a garden. It might make sense to choose a venue designed for large gatherings such as weddings. All of this is possible with the proper permissions, and with a little extra logistical planning on the day.
Do I need a coffin?
While it is possible to be buried or cremated without a coffin, for practical reasons, it’s generally a good idea to secure the person in a coffin for moving them around.
By law, a body needs to be covered when travelling from one place to another. This could be with a shroud but is most often with a coffin. The coffin is a visible presence throughout the day until it is ultimately cremated or buried with the person.
A coffin could be solid wood, wood effect, made from natural fibres such as willow or bamboo, or even cardboard.
Transport on the day
What are my funeral vehicle options?
Whether you just need to get there, or you want to stop at meaningful or picturesque places on route, there are various transport options to consider.
You might want to meet at the chapel with the coffin already in place, or book a black hearse with optional limos to process to the funeral ceremony.
There is often lots of parking available at the local crematoria for you and your guests.