Ceremonial aspects
Celebrant
What is a celebrant?
The celebrant is the person who guides the ceremony on the day. This is typically someone who has trained for the role. Your funeral director might recommend someone for you, or you might know who you want, or even have someone in the family who would like to take on that job.
A celebrant can support you to write and order the content of the funeral – speakers, music, memories, visual elements, ritual acts – to create space for the emotions of those gathered, honour your person, and bring everyone together in support.
A good celebrant shouldn’t steal the show, but will be an invaluable source of support and will ensure that every detail comes together and that the day runs smoothly for you.
You may have a religious or faith leader to take your service and we will work seamlessly with them too.
Eulogy
Who should give the eulogy at a funeral?
Public speaking can be a big ask at the best of times. The eulogy is a tribute to your person and can be written and delivered by a member of your group, or your celebrant can weave the story together from conversations with you all. The celebrant could read on your behalf – a eulogy can have several voices in it, even if it is only read by one person.
The eulogy is an important part of a traditional funeral – it’s a version of a life story. There are many ways to tell the story of a life and communicate what was important about a person – What did they love? How did it feel to spend time in their company?
Perhaps memories can be shared from people from different areas of the person’s life – this can enlighten us with different perspectives, and at a good funeral you often learn a thing or two that you hadn’t necessarily heard before.
Music
What music can I have at a funeral?
There are so many different ways to use music at a funeral – for gathering, for reflection, as a background to a slideshow of photographs, for singing together, and to help us on our way at the end.
Music at a funeral can be important to give space for emotion and carry us through the day. The music does not have to be sad or serious to be appropriate – it can be a favourite tune, something fun or light-hearted. If it has meaning, it’s a good choice.
You can play music of any genre, with options to sing-a-long, or perhaps some live music is the right thing.
Ritual acts
What rituals happen at a funeral?
The whole funeral is a ritual. It is a series of meaningful actions, perhaps traditional, or perhaps invented for the day.
Simple ritual acts can help us to make sense of things at a time when we may well feel out of control. The carrying of the coffin into the ceremony is a ritual act whether participating in it or witnessing. The symbolic act could be as simple as lighting a candle, or offering a single stem flower to the coffin at the end of a funeral ceremony.
Placing an important object on or near the coffin can communicate meaning – a characterful hat, a last move on a chess board, a silent instrument.
Ritual acts offer those attending a funeral a way to demonstrate the depth of their feelings, to pay their respects, and will also function to bring everyone at the event together.
Flowers
Are flowers important in a funeral?
There is evidence of humans using flowers in funeral rituals over 10,000 years ago. Flowers may be used to decorate the coffin, the venue space or as an offering.
Seasonal flowers evoke the cycle of life. Colours can be comforting and even optimistic. Use scented herbs like lavender or rosemary for remembrance.
You can read more of our thoughts on flowers in our blog post.
Orders of Service
Do I need an Order of Service?
Beautiful photographs and thoughtful design can turn an Order of Service into a keepsake that will help you look back on the funeral in years to come – a kind of document of the day you will be able to remember the readings and music and share with future generations. Your celebrant and funeral director can design and print one for you.
It is not essential to have something printed and physical, especially if the service is simple. There are other ways to include photographs and visual elements in the day.
Keepsakes and favours
Should I bring gifts for the funeral guests?
This isn’t an expectation, but you might want to think of something everybody attending the funeral can take away with them and keep. This may be the Order of Service. Or you could give everyone the chance to take a flower or two from the arrangements – perhaps for their lapel or hair or to press and keep forever.
Forget-me-not memorial pins could unite those in grief. Did the person who has died have a favourite sweet treat? You could give some seeds to grow in their memory.